that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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