DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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