Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
