You work out of a Hotel?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
