this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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