If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize