My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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