Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
ugly people sure do ruin things
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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