we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
