So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Everclear isn't food dammit
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
