I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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