you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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