I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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