He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Is it because I queefed?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
