I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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