that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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