And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
