Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Bring me that man meat
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
