Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
And then he peed in my hair
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