so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
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Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
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Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize