Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
