quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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