Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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