I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
They took my balls.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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