The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize