3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
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She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
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couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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