butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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