I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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