Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize