I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
