I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
