He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
PANTIES FOUND
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize