Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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