Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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