I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
