the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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