so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
