Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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