i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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