she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
