but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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