At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
