Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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