He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
