google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
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