going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The uberlube is also flammable
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
