Do vagina's smell?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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