Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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