What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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