yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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