i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
