oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize