me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
