You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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