So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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