she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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