I accidentally burped into my bong.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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