wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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