i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
